Oneonta, New York Says These Are the Worst Christmas Songs

Christmas music is the bane of some people's existence. Some people get the itch in November and blast it straight through past the new year. I tend to skew more towards the left of center, oddball offerings when it comes to Christmas music.

A fun game I've been playing over the last couple of years is compiling the absolute worst, bottom of the barrel Christmas songs. These tracks fall in to the "so bad it's good" category. Imagine the film Troll 2 masquerading as holiday songs.

I asked the community to voice their opinions on what they thought the worst Christmas songs in the world were, and some of the answers....yeah they're bad. You won't see Mariah Carey's famous song here, there's no need, it's everywhere.

Please enjoy this blend of our collective terrible Christmas songs. Play these loudly at your next gathering. I know I will be!

NewSong, 'The Christmas Shoes'

Oof. There's so much to unpack here. The basic concept of this song is that of a boy wanting to buy a pair of his shoes for his terminally ill mother on Christmas Eve, just in case she meets Jesus that night, but is short on cash. A gentleman in the checkout line notices, and pays for the shoes, and is instantly reminded of the true meaning of Christmas. It's a real tear-jerker of a story.

Great in concept, but horrid in execution. Who wants to sit and listen to such a downer on Christmas, especially when the puke worthy choir kicks in?

Gayla Peevey, 'I Want a Hippopotamus for Christmas'

This horrid classic is celebrating it's 70th anniversary this year, and many wish it wasn't. Brittney B. says as a boy mom, this song is played constantly. Recorded in 1953 by a 10 year old Peevey, Legend has it that this song was supposed to be a fundraiser to bring a hippo to the Oklahoma City Zoo. Peevey herself has debunked this claim.

Either way, this song will make you go to Colombia to seek out Pablo Escobar's hippos, and verbally berate them until the cantankerous beasts make short work of you.

The Pussycat Dolls, 'Santa Baby'

If you look up "extra" or "too much" in the dictionary, this video pops right up, front and center. It sounds like a bunch of cougars taking the mic at a fraternity karaoke night. It's basically a thirst trap on wax. Enough already.

If you like a bunch of huffing and puffing over the jolly old elf, this one's for your ears.

John Denver, 'Please, Daddy Don't Get Drunk This Christmas'

Nothing quite screams holly jolly quite like a twangy song with overtones of domestic violence and pops falling down drunk under the tree as told from the perspective of an almost eight year old. It's dismal, and depressing, and I sing along loudly every time it comes on.

New Kids on the Block, 'Funky, Funky, Xmas'

This just sounds phoned in, like NKOTB had a contractual obligation to record a Christmas album, and this was really the best the band and their writing team could come up with. It's tired, it's lazy, and mostly feels forced.

The rap breaks are no help, telling us to throw our hands in the air and kick the ballistics will never, ever work.

Linda Bennett, "An Old Fashioned Christmas (Daddy's Home)'

This is my number one worst Christmas song of all time. The theme of this pile of elephant dung is basically "forget about all of the people that just died down the road from us, we want presents NOW, daddy".

In a nutshell, it tells the tale of a mother and her children on Christmas getting ready for the holiday when a news bulleting breaks about a horrific bus crash. The bus is the one their patriarch rides, and he's supposed to be on it. A bulletin comes across the radio indicating that there are no survivors. I'm pretty sure it's the only time "no survivors" has been used in a holiday tune.

At the end of the song, their daddy gleefully flies through the door, apologizing for being late due to missing the bus. No mention is made further of the dead or their grieving families, leaving the focus solely on these self absorbed wastes of time.