Did Your Mom Ever Say These To You?

Mother's Day is this Sunday and it makes me think about what it means to be a mom of two.  I find myself saying those pointless phrases that many frustrated parents say when the kids are doing things we don't want them to do.  I remember hearing several of these from my mom when I was a kid.  How about you?

"Momisms"

- Am I talking to a brick wall?  (pretty much)
- Beds are NOT made for jumping on.  (yes they are!)
- Close the door! You don't live in a barn.  (it's too much work to close the door)
- Don't eat that, you'll get worms!  (ew!)
- Go play outside! It's a beautiful day!  (so what? That doesn't mean there's anything to do out there)
- I didn't ask who put it there, I said "Pick it up!"  (Not fair!)
- If it were a snake, it would have bit you.  (How did that suddenly get there?)
- Pick that up before somebody trips on it and breaks their neck!
- Are you a monkey?  Don't talk with your mouth full!  (eeeee, eeeee, yes I am and it's fun!)
- Do you think this is a hotel?  (yes, I do)
- Don't cross your eyes or they'll freeze that way.  (yikes!)
- Don't use that tone with me!  (nah nah!)
- I'm not running a taxi service.  (sure you are)
- Now, come back downstairs and go back up WITHOUT stomping your feet!  (but I like to, it makes me feel powerful!)
- You're the oldest. You should know better.  (I do know better, I'm just trying to see how much I can get away with)
- Sit up straight or your spine will grow crooked!  (yeah right Mom)
- Stop Crying or I'll give you something cry about  (waaaaaaaahhhh)
- Eat your vegetables!  There are starving children in Africa that would do anything to have those.  (I don't care how many people are starving, I'm not eating them!)
- Stop fighting you two or else!  (or else what?)

What phrases do you remember your mom saying to you?  Feel free to share them with us.