Oneonta, New York Man Becomes Unexpected Shipping Expert Overnight
An Oneonta man has become an expert on shipping, logistics, and the inner workings of container ships seemingly overnight.
Ed Lanzafame, 46, has spent considerable time providing residents of Otsego County with information on wide ranging topics for a number of years now, mainly on Facebook. Recently, he became an expert in the field of maritime logistics and container ship mechanics - overnight.
"I spent about four or so hours doing hardcore research in the comfort of my own home - the findings are beyond shocking" said Lanzafame. His sources range from internet memes to social media groups that contain other experts who were hatched just as quickly.
"Look, Taylor Swift was in collusion with Bill and Hillary Clinton on this. There's no way that this just kind of happened. Tom Wopat's wife's sister's brother's cousin was the one time CEO of the container ship company and she coordinated the cyberattack. If you know, you know. Again, I've done my own independent research" Lanzafame exclaimed when asked about his knowledge of the incident.
Lanzafame is no stranger to expert level knowledge of topics. Back in 2021, Lanzafame became an expert in the field of infections diseases and tropical medicine, again overnight. He was equally excited and agitated when asked to discuss the topic.
"Boy oh boy was that just a clown shoes time in our nation's history. Right at the outset of this corona what-have-you, there was a documentary released, called 'Plandemic' that instantly made all the sense in the world. I personally vetted all of their sources on Facebook and YouTube, and believe me, you just need to pay attention. If your eyes are wide open, you won't fall in line with the rest of the sheeple" he concluded.
If his resume wasn't already packed, Lanzafame is also an overnight expert in the fields of moon landings, lizard people, and steel framed buildings.
*Author's note: This is a work of satire, please check your calendar and have a laugh.
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