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‘Seinfeld’ Solutions — Friends with Benefits

Relationships end. It happens. It doesn’t mean the feelings always follow suit, you just don’t get along for whatever reason. So how do you remain friends while still taking care of each other in… other areas?

Seinfeld” (almost) has a solution for that.

In one of “Seinfeld’s” most famous episodes, Jerry and Elaine, who used to date, want to continue to sleep together after recent dry spells out in the dating world.

“I have a vague idea of what happens in there,” Jerry quips as he motions toward the bedroom.

But sleeping with an ex is dangerous. What if feelings come back? What if one ends up wanting more? Can you have this and that without the other?

Editor’s note: No hook-up contract works, ever. Don’t even try. It doesn’t work.

Jerry proposes a verbal agreement to Elaine that hopefully covers any potential sticky situation, no pun intended.

Here’s the breakdown:

  1. No calls the day after sex
  2. Spending the night is optional
  3. No kiss goodnight

And that, my friends is the downfall, as George points out in the clip below. Jerry got greedy.

You just simply can’t have this and that without the other. (The other being the actual relationship.)

How can you avoid the mess and still get the pleasures of enjoying all that your ex has to over?

It takes a very rare, very special person to manage to put emotions aside and be OK with a mostly physical relationship.

In fact, there was only ever one person in all of Seinfeld capable of this. She appears when George is trying to pick up women by wearing a wedding ring. She offers years of a purely physical relationship without strings. Unfortunately, George is wearing the ring and she won’t sleep with a married man.

Find her, find your friend with benefits. This is George’s reaction to his failed efforts:

There’s also the rare occurrence of the “sex to save the friendship” after Elaine gives Jerry a bit of hard news.

He becomes so obsessed with the fact he doesn’t know if he’s ever successfully pleasured a woman that he starts fighting with Elaine, and it threatens the friendship. So they must sleep together to save the friendship. That may be one of very rare times that you can hook up with your ex without negative repercussions.

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